I say onto you that I have visited the promised land of Exceptional Grades. As I was tempted to coast through the Valley of Scrape-By, a voice spake with me and bade me to listen, for he had knowledge to share.
The celestial power handed down these ten rules for writing a great essay and I present them to you, my brothers and sisters. Follow them all, or you shall perish in the hell of infernal bad grades (failing that, you can hire an essay editor!)
(No offense intended to the author of the original Ten Commandments.)